The image of a british man in a McDonald´s a year ago is forever engraved in my mind. Why, you ask? Well, this man was neon pink. And I don´t mean that figuratively. He was NEON PINK. Courtesy of the Rio de Janeiro sun.
Under his cap, his face looked nearly paralyzed. Under his t-shirt, his body seemed to be permanently grafted to a clothes-hanger - you know, like when you move in such a manner to allow as little contact as possible between your skin and your clothes. This guy was fresh out of the beach and he was already in pain. I can only imagine what his next three days were like... Or maybe not. I am presently getting a glimpse.
Someday I WILL learn. Someday I will behave differently from the british fool. But not yesterday. I went to the beach yesterday and, thanks to a nice, cool, steady wind to bring down the temperature, underestimated the intensity of the ultraviolet rays. The result? It hurts to smile. It hurts to put on or take off a shirt. It hurts to shift around in bed. It hurts to be so eternally stupid.
This is NOT the first time that I've done this. It´s happened a couple of times before. But since the last time, about two years ago, I had decided that I would never let it happen again. Sunscreen would be a must, regardless of the heat. And up until yesterday, I had been very faithful to my resolve.
Yesterday, however, was the first sunny day after nearly three weeks of incessant rain. It was the first chance to erase the bright-white from my face. And boy, did I make the best of it or what!?
So here I sit, incandescent, in obvious discomfort and above all, feeling foolish.
segunda-feira, novembro 14, 2005
segunda-feira, novembro 07, 2005
Got a Map?
Ladies and gentleman, I'm afraid I'm the bearer of terrible news. Alright, this actually isn´t news to anyone, but there is no way on earth that I would let this one slide:
GEORGE W. BUSH IS THE VILLAGE IDIOT.
Village, you ask? Yes, village. This is, after all, the way he treats the world. It´s his little town, he´s the big sheriff and his word is the law. As for the "idiot" part, I assume that nobody needs to ask. In either case, prepare your eyes, for you are about to read something which can only be described as surreal!
It seems that at the Brazil/U.S. Summit this past weekend, Mr. Bush needed a little geographical question answered. The question?
WHERE IS THE AMAZON BASIN?
As I type this preposterous phrase, I'm suddenly at a lost for words. How is it possible that the "leader of the free world", the "most powerful man on earth" as we've all heard before, does not have a clue as to where the world´s largest rainforest and one of the planet´s biggest issues for DECADES is located!!!
Please, this isn´t like searching a map for a little middle-eastern town (to annihilate...) This is a chunk of land several times larger than his home state of Texas!
And this is the man with the I.Q. of 92, with the itchy trigger-finger, with God in his pocket, with the planet´s future in his hands.
God help us.
GEORGE W. BUSH IS THE VILLAGE IDIOT.
Village, you ask? Yes, village. This is, after all, the way he treats the world. It´s his little town, he´s the big sheriff and his word is the law. As for the "idiot" part, I assume that nobody needs to ask. In either case, prepare your eyes, for you are about to read something which can only be described as surreal!
It seems that at the Brazil/U.S. Summit this past weekend, Mr. Bush needed a little geographical question answered. The question?
WHERE IS THE AMAZON BASIN?
As I type this preposterous phrase, I'm suddenly at a lost for words. How is it possible that the "leader of the free world", the "most powerful man on earth" as we've all heard before, does not have a clue as to where the world´s largest rainforest and one of the planet´s biggest issues for DECADES is located!!!
Please, this isn´t like searching a map for a little middle-eastern town (to annihilate...) This is a chunk of land several times larger than his home state of Texas!
And this is the man with the I.Q. of 92, with the itchy trigger-finger, with God in his pocket, with the planet´s future in his hands.
God help us.
domingo, novembro 06, 2005
Soap!
This one goes out to almost all brazilians...
I HATE SOAP OPERAS.
If you are brazilian and you are reading this, let me translate: EU ODEIO NOVELA. Why this sudden attack? Because, for lack of something better to do and to get myself a good laugh, I was stuck watching the final episode of Brazil´s favorite soap opera last night. So I thought: What better idea for a blog than to crucify, even if just for my own enjoyment, such a excruciatingly foolish brazilian tradition?
For starters, let´s go directly to the problematic heart of the matter. The very essence of soaps is ridiculous! You have a pathetic, overly sentimental, highly improbable story which, every six months or so (at least here in Brazil), gives its primetime slot up for the next pathetic, overly sentimental and highly improbable story. It´s a neverending cycle of the same annoying plot being told in a slightly different manner. Nothing is ever new!
In second place, the acting. OH GOD, THE ACTING. Of course, before I go anywhere with this, I must say that there are phenomenally talented and potentially award-winning actors in Brazil (like Fernanda Montenegro, who was nominated for an academy award a few years ago) and that many of them take part in these soaps. HOWEVER...
It seems there is a tendency (or should I say, insistence) for casting to be done on the basis of looks rather than talent. Again, there are exceptions, but let´s stick to the crucification. So let´s take, for example, the female lead (yes folks, I said LEAD!): She needs to know that dialogue is not made more intense or more dramatic if one whispers! And whispering is all she does, no matter what the character or the story demands. If this is what the leading actress does, imagine the cascade of bad acting below her! A bunch of pretty faces on empty heads which can best be summarized by "overacting, underacting or NO acting".
The third complaint is not in reference to the content, but to the effect it has on the public. It is preposterous that an entire country should be paralyzed by something so useless. And I use the word useless to illustrate the fact that the soaps have no informational value whatsoever! Once again, the exception to the rule resides in that there are "public messages" incorporated into the dialogue (for example, donate blood and organs, save energy and water, or things of the sort). But for the most part, what would be a fantastic chance to feed knowledge to a large portion of a largely uneducated population is instead a factory for stupidity.
Well, in my fury I could go on forever, but I will limit myself to dream of a future without soaps. As this seems to be next to impossible, my alternative is none other than to just crawl back into my distaste for brazilian television.
I HATE SOAP OPERAS.
If you are brazilian and you are reading this, let me translate: EU ODEIO NOVELA. Why this sudden attack? Because, for lack of something better to do and to get myself a good laugh, I was stuck watching the final episode of Brazil´s favorite soap opera last night. So I thought: What better idea for a blog than to crucify, even if just for my own enjoyment, such a excruciatingly foolish brazilian tradition?
For starters, let´s go directly to the problematic heart of the matter. The very essence of soaps is ridiculous! You have a pathetic, overly sentimental, highly improbable story which, every six months or so (at least here in Brazil), gives its primetime slot up for the next pathetic, overly sentimental and highly improbable story. It´s a neverending cycle of the same annoying plot being told in a slightly different manner. Nothing is ever new!
In second place, the acting. OH GOD, THE ACTING. Of course, before I go anywhere with this, I must say that there are phenomenally talented and potentially award-winning actors in Brazil (like Fernanda Montenegro, who was nominated for an academy award a few years ago) and that many of them take part in these soaps. HOWEVER...
It seems there is a tendency (or should I say, insistence) for casting to be done on the basis of looks rather than talent. Again, there are exceptions, but let´s stick to the crucification. So let´s take, for example, the female lead (yes folks, I said LEAD!): She needs to know that dialogue is not made more intense or more dramatic if one whispers! And whispering is all she does, no matter what the character or the story demands. If this is what the leading actress does, imagine the cascade of bad acting below her! A bunch of pretty faces on empty heads which can best be summarized by "overacting, underacting or NO acting".
The third complaint is not in reference to the content, but to the effect it has on the public. It is preposterous that an entire country should be paralyzed by something so useless. And I use the word useless to illustrate the fact that the soaps have no informational value whatsoever! Once again, the exception to the rule resides in that there are "public messages" incorporated into the dialogue (for example, donate blood and organs, save energy and water, or things of the sort). But for the most part, what would be a fantastic chance to feed knowledge to a large portion of a largely uneducated population is instead a factory for stupidity.
Well, in my fury I could go on forever, but I will limit myself to dream of a future without soaps. As this seems to be next to impossible, my alternative is none other than to just crawl back into my distaste for brazilian television.
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