Air Heckard

This one This one made me angry enough to deem a blog post necessary...

Certain people have no shame. Get this:

His name is Allen Heckard, he is from Portland, Oregon, and apparently, he looks uncannily like Michael Jordan. So far, so good, right? I mean, it can´t be so bad! You might actually make some cash having a God-given "talent" like that! Well, this man has found a way to take his cash cow to a whole new level.

Believe your eyes now: Mr. Heckard is suing Michael Jordan because they look alike. Preposterous, right?! Oh, but it gets better! The amount: $416 million. Four hundred and sixteen million dollars! Laughing yet? Wait, the punchline goes a little further. Apparently, $416 million is pocket change, so... He is suing Phil Knight, founder of sports apparel giant Nike, for the same $416 million! Seems that Allen's "living hell" was worsened by Nike's constant use of Jordan's image over the last 20 years or so. The grand total being demanded for Heckerd's little problem is a staggering $832 million!!

Allen Heckard's claim is that he is fed up with being mistaken for Michael Jordan nearly every day of his life for the past fifteen years. Technically, the claim is "defamation and permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering".

"I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me." said Heckard.

He let out a few more memorable quotes after that one, but none that come close to this little pearl:

"Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan)" [sic]

This guy clearly needs to be slapped around a bit to get some sense knocked into him, wouldn't you agree? I imagine that MJ is having himself a good laugh right about now. But I think that Mike is nice (and sane, and rich) enough not to countersue.

But seriously, it has become evident that urgent action must be taken by american lawmakers in order to put a halt to such frivolousness and absurdity. It appears that a culture of lawsuits is thriving in the United States. Nobody wants to take responsibility for their actions or, in the case of Heckard vs. Jordan, people want to blame others for things which are obviously out of their control.

In the end, it becomes very clear that the real motivation behind such sheer stupidity is this: Everything ultimately comes down to easy money.


PS- The guy dribbling the ball in the picture above... That must be Air Heckard, right?