Soap!

This one goes out to almost all brazilians...

I HATE SOAP OPERAS.

If you are brazilian and you are reading this, let me translate: EU ODEIO NOVELA. Why this sudden attack? Because, for lack of something better to do and to get myself a good laugh, I was stuck watching the final episode of Brazil´s favorite soap opera last night. So I thought: What better idea for a blog than to crucify, even if just for my own enjoyment, such a excruciatingly foolish brazilian tradition?

For starters, let´s go directly to the problematic heart of the matter. The very essence of soaps is ridiculous! You have a pathetic, overly sentimental, highly improbable story which, every six months or so (at least here in Brazil), gives its primetime slot up for the next pathetic, overly sentimental and highly improbable story. It´s a neverending cycle of the same annoying plot being told in a slightly different manner. Nothing is ever new!

In second place, the acting. OH GOD, THE ACTING. Of course, before I go anywhere with this, I must say that there are phenomenally talented and potentially award-winning actors in Brazil (like Fernanda Montenegro, who was nominated for an academy award a few years ago) and that many of them take part in these soaps. HOWEVER...
It seems there is a tendency (or should I say, insistence) for casting to be done on the basis of looks rather than talent. Again, there are exceptions, but let´s stick to the crucification. So let´s take, for example, the female lead (yes folks, I said LEAD!): She needs to know that dialogue is not made more intense or more dramatic if one whispers! And whispering is all she does, no matter what the character or the story demands. If this is what the leading actress does, imagine the cascade of bad acting below her! A bunch of pretty faces on empty heads which can best be summarized by "overacting, underacting or NO acting".

The third complaint is not in reference to the content, but to the effect it has on the public. It is preposterous that an entire country should be paralyzed by something so useless. And I use the word useless to illustrate the fact that the soaps have no informational value whatsoever! Once again, the exception to the rule resides in that there are "public messages" incorporated into the dialogue (for example, donate blood and organs, save energy and water, or things of the sort). But for the most part, what would be a fantastic chance to feed knowledge to a large portion of a largely uneducated population is instead a factory for stupidity.

Well, in my fury I could go on forever, but I will limit myself to dream of a future without soaps. As this seems to be next to impossible, my alternative is none other than to just crawl back into my distaste for brazilian television.